<aside> 💡 Sorry, mein Englisch is not the yellow from the egg, but I had the idea of the text since days in my head and I only “tought it in english” so I wrote it in english to :)

</aside>

We are all straight until proven otherwise.

Even today I often get asked if I have a girlfriend or which of my female friends I’m in to.

In those situations, instant shame comes over me, that I don’t want and I don’t even fell shame. But the fact that the people around me are putting their ideal onto me, with no consideration that there is another option, is really damaging inside.

I hate this term of coming out of the closet, but people like me only need to come out of the closet because they have been put in there by everyone else.

I shouldn’t have needed to come out of the closet or have this experience… But I’ve only had it because I was put in this box, from the day beginning that I was born. But I didn’t choose for myself. And I get so angry about myself felling shame, because it’s still really fresh for me.

For a long time I couldn’t even say the word gay … that shows how much shame was put on it for me. Growing up I only ever heard the word gay when it was used as a weapon and it wasn’t used as a weapon to me, it was used on anyone and anything that was a bit different or a bit uncomfortable or not masculine enought or a bit softer than the “norm”.

No one ever used it as a “good” word.